This realm of emotional intelligence concerns what we generally refer to as the ‘inner self.’ It determines how in touch with your feelings you are, how good you feel about yourself and about what you are doing in your life. Success in this area means that you are able to express your feelings, live and work independently, feel strong, and have confidence in expressing your ideas and beliefs.
Emotional Self-Awareness
‘He who knows the universe and does not know himself knows nothing.’ Jean De La Fontaine, 1679
The ability to recognize your feelings, to differentiate between them, to know why you are feeling these feelings, and to recognize the impact your feelings have in others around you.
Assertiveness
‘The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you will have.’ Anonymous but totally accurate proverb
Assertiveness is composed of three basic components: 1) the ability to express feelings (for example, to accept and express anger, warmth and sexual feelings); 2) the abilities to express beliefs and thoughts openly (being able to voice opinions, disagree and take a definite stand, even if it is emotionally difficult to do so and even if you have something to lose by doing so); 3) the ability to stand up for personal rights (not allow others to bother or take advantage of you). Assertive people are not shy-they are able to express their feelings and beliefs (often directly) and they do so without being aggressive or abusive.
‘Difficult or easy, pleasant or bitter, you are the same you.’ Martial, Epigrammata, Circa Ad 20-104
The ability to be self-directed and self-controlled in your thinking and actions and to be free of emotional dependency. Independent people are self-reliant in planning and making important decisions. They can stand on their own two feet. They may, however, seek and consider other people’s opinions before making the right decision for themselves in the end; consulting others is not necessarily a sign of dependency. Independent people are able to function autonomously-they avoid clinging to others in order to satisfy their emotional needs. The ability to be independent rests on one's degree of self-confidence and inner strength and the desire to meet expectations and obligations without becoming a slave to them.
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