‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Eleanor Roosevelt, This is my story, 1937
The ability to respect and accept yourself as basically good.Respecting yourself is essentially liking the way you are. Self-regard is the ability to appreciate your perceived positive aspects and possibilities and still feel good about yourself. It is knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and liking yourself, ‘warts and all.’ This conceptual component of emotional intelligence is associated with general feelings of security, inner strength, self-assuredness, self-confidence and feelings of self-adequacy. Because individuals with healthy self-regard know their strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves, they have no trouble openly and approximately acknowledging when they have made mistakes, are wrong, or do not know all the answers. Feeling sure of oneself is dependent upon self-respect and self-esteem, which are based on a fairly well-developed sense of identity. People with good self-regard feel fulfilled and satisfied with themselves. At the opposite end of the continuum are feeling of personal inadequacy and inferiority.
‘The world is an oyster, but you don’t crack it open on a mattress.’ Arthur Miller, 1949
The ability to realize your potential capabilities. This component of emotional intelligence is manifested by becoming involving in pursuits that lead to a meaningful, rich and full life. Striving to actualize your potential involves developing enjoyable and meaningful activities and can mean a lifelong effort and an enthusiastic commitment to long-term goals. Self-actualization is an ongoing, dynamic process of striving toward the maximum development of your abilities and talents, of persistently trying to do your best and to improve yourself in general. Excitement about your interests energize and motivates you to continue these interest. Self-actualization is affiliated with feeling self-satisfaction. Individuals with healthy self-actualization are pleased with the location they find themselves on life’s highway with respect to their personal, occupational and financial destination.
This realm of emotional intelligence concerns what are known as people skills. Those who function well in this area tend to be responsible and dependable. They understand, interact with and relate well to others in a variety of situation. They inspire trust and function well as part of a team.
‘You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jelly-beans.’ Ronald Reagan, 1981
The ability to be aware of, to understand and to appreciate the feelings and thoughts of others. Empathy is ‘turning in’ (being sensitive) to what, how and why people feel and think the way they do. Being empathic means being able to ‘emotional read’ other people. Empathic people care about others and show interest in and concern for them. It is the ability to non-judgmentally put into words your understanding of the other person’s perspective on the world, even if your do not agree with it, or even if you find that perspective ridiculous. Being empathic shifts an adversarial relationship to a collaborative relationship.
‘If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who ae rich.’ JOHN f. Kenny, 1961
The ability to demonstrate that you are a cooperative, contributing and constructive member of your social group. This component of emotional intelligence involves acting in a responsible manner, even though you might not benefit personally, doing things for and with others, accepting others, acting in accordance with your conscience and upholding social rules. Socially responsible people have social consciousness and a basic concern for others, which is manifested by being able to take on community-oriented responsibility. They possess interpersonal sensitivity and are able to accept others and use their talents for the good of the collective, not just the self. People who are deficient in this ability may entertain anti-social attitude, act abusively toward others and take advantage of others. It is doing something for the team, the division, the organization, or for society at large that does not benefit your directly.
‘Personal relationships are the important thing for ever, and ever, and not this other life of telegrams and anger.’ E. M. Forster, Howard’s End, 1910
The ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection. Mutual satisfaction includes meaningful social interchanges that are potentially rewarding and enjoyable and characterized by give and take. Positive interpersonal relationship skill is characterized by sensitivity toward others. This component of emotional intelligence is not only associate with the desire to cultivate friendly relations with others but with the ability to feel at ease and comfortable in such relations and to possess positive expectations concerning social intercourse.
This realm of emotional intelligence concerns your ability to size up and respond to a wide range of difficult situations. Success in this area means that you can grasp problems and devise effective solutions, deal with and resolve family issues and meet conflicts within your social group and in the workplace.
‘It is not that they can not see the solution. It is that they cannot see the problem. G. K. Chesterson, 1935
The ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate and implement potentially effective solutions. Problem-solving is multiphasic in nature and includes the ability to go through a process of 1) sensing a problem and feeling confident and motivated to deal with it effectively; 2) defining and formulating the problem as clearly as possible (e. g., gathering relevant information); 3) generating as many solutions as possible (e. g. brainstorming); 4) making a decision to implement one of the solutions (e. g. weighing the pros and cons of each possible solution and choosing the best course of action); 5) assessing the outcome of the implemented solution ; 6) repeating this process if the problem still exists. Problem-solving is associated with being conscientious disciplined, methodical and systematic in persevering and approaching problems. This skills is also linked to a s=desire to do one’s best and to confront problems, rather than avoid them.
Realty Testing
`All theory is gray, but the golden tree of actual life spring ever green. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, 1808
The ability to assess the correspondence between what is experienced and what objectively exists. Reality testing involves "tuning in" to the immediate situation. The best simple-sentence definition of reality testing is that it is the capacity to see things objectively, the way they are, rather than the way we wish or fear them to be. Testing this degree of correspondence involves a search for objective evidence to confirm, justify and support feelings, perception and thoughts. The emphasis is on pragmatism, objectivity and adequacy of your perception and authentication of your ideas and thoughts. An important aspect of this component involves the ability to concentrate and focus when trying to assess and cope with situations that arise. Reality testing is associated with a lack of withdrawal from the outside world, a tuning in to the immediate situation, and lucidity and clarity in perception and though processes. In simple term, reality testing is the ability to accurately "size up" the immediate situation.
"Variety is the spice of life." William Cowper, 1785
The ability to adjust your emotions, thoughts, and behaviour to changing situations and conditions. This component of emotional intelligence applies to your overall ability to adapt to unfamiliar, unpredictable and dynamic circumstances. Flexible people are agile, synergistic and capable of reacting to change, without rigidity. These people are able to change their minds when evidence suggests that they are mistaken. They are generally open to and tolerant of different ideas, orientations, ways and practices. Their capacity to shift thoughts and behaviours is not arbitrary or whimsical, but rather in concert with shifting feedback they are getting from their environment. Individuals who lack this capacity tend to be rigid and obstinate. The adapt poorly to new situations and have little capacity to take advantage of new opportunities.
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‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Eleanor Roosevelt, This is my story, 1937
The ability to respect and accept yourself as basically good.Respecting yourself is essentially liking the way you are. Self-regard is the ability to appreciate your perceived positive aspects and possibilities and still feel good about yourself. It is knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and liking yourself, ‘warts and all.’ This conceptual component of emotional intelligence is associated with general feelings of security, inner strength, self-assuredness, self-confidence and feelings of self-adequacy. Because individuals with healthy self-regard know their strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves, they have no trouble openly and approximately acknowledging when they have made mistakes, are wrong, or do not know all the answers. Feeling sure of oneself is dependent upon self-respect and self-esteem, which are based on a fairly well-developed sense of identity. People with good self-regard feel fulfilled and satisfied with themselves. At the opposite end of the continuum are feeling of personal inadequacy and inferiority.