This realm of emotional intelligence concerns what we generally refer to as the ‘inner self.’ It determines how in touch with your feelings you are, how good you feel about yourself and about what you are doing in your life. Success in this area means that you are able to express your feelings, live and work independently, feel strong, and have confidence in expressing your ideas and beliefs.
‘The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you will have.’ Anonymous but totally accurate proverb
Assertiveness is composed of three basic components: 1) the ability to express feelings (for example, to accept and express anger, warmth and sexual feelings); 2) the abilities to express beliefs and thoughts openly (being able to voice opinions, disagree and take a definite stand, even if it is emotionally difficult to do so and even if you have something to lose by doing so); 3) the ability to stand up for personal rights (not allow others to bother or take advantage of you). Assertive people are not shy-they are able to express their feelings and beliefs (often directly) and they do so without being aggressive or abusive.